Big Dog

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Posts by Big Dog

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  51

  Do Any Atheists Feel This Way?

  by Big Dog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the atheists have done a pretty good job on me, i am just about to cast my lot in with them after all the reading and debating on the issue.

  they just seem to have all the answers and appear to hold the intellectual high ground, they do a good job of making one feel like a complete idiot for believing in a god, much less the christian version.

  so now that i am almost free of this delusional, magical thinking, religious burden of foolishly believing in a god and that there is anymore to life than what is right here how do i feel?

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  Big Dog

  BigDog, so why the long face?

  Honestly? Because I went to the cemetary today and stood looking at my father's grave in the cold rain. He's been gone about 14 months, died in my house of an inoperable brain tumor. I sat and held his hand for the last 36 hours of his life as his body struggled to survive. It was the saddest more horriffic thing I have ever seen, the way we cling to life so desperately, the body struggles vailiantly to survive, to repair itself, but in the end it loses, it always loses, and I saw something in his eyes I had never ever seen before, fear. He was a combat vet, and he used to love to say, no atheists in the foxhole, I wonder if I do fully accept disbelief, if when my time comes I'll stick to it.

  I miss him, I used to take comfort from hoping he was in a better place and that maybe he was sort of watching over me, but now I am beginning to think that is all bunk, when he closed his eyes that last time and drew his last breath, that was it, nothing, no more. Everything he knew, every memory he had gone when the neurons stopped firing. I was thinking of my children, they are going to watch me go someday and the whole cycle of it, I watch them come into being and they watch me exit just brought me down.

  So that's where all of this is coming from, if there isn't anything else, if he is nothing but dust I'm saddened by that. Its fairly easy for me at a healthy 41 to pump myself up and think yes, life is good, I've got lots of years hopefully, and I try to enjoy every mintue, but I only have so many minutes, and, well, they just aren't enough.
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  51

  Do Any Atheists Feel This Way?

  by Big Dog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the atheists have done a pretty good job on me, i am just about to cast my lot in with them after all the reading and debating on the issue.

  they just seem to have all the answers and appear to hold the intellectual high ground, they do a good job of making one feel like a complete idiot for believing in a god, much less the christian version.

  so now that i am almost free of this delusional, magical thinking, religious burden of foolishly believing in a god and that there is anymore to life than what is right here how do i feel?

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  Big Dog

  Sorry Monkey goddess, my face was red as a baboon's ass trying to get the dang thing to post.
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  51

  Do Any Atheists Feel This Way?

  by Big Dog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the atheists have done a pretty good job on me, i am just about to cast my lot in with them after all the reading and debating on the issue.

  they just seem to have all the answers and appear to hold the intellectual high ground, they do a good job of making one feel like a complete idiot for believing in a god, much less the christian version.

  so now that i am almost free of this delusional, magical thinking, religious burden of foolishly believing in a god and that there is anymore to life than what is right here how do i feel?

  1. 
  2. 
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• 

  Big Dog

  The atheists have done a pretty good job on me, I am just about to cast my lot in with them after all the reading and debating on the issue. They just seem to have all the answers and appear to hold the intellectual high ground, they do a good job of making one feel like a complete idiot for believing in a god, much less the Christian version.
  
  So now that I am almost free of this delusional, magical thinking, religious burden of foolishly believing in a God and that there is anymore to life than what is right here how do I feel?
  

  Not all that wonderful to be honest. If I remember correctly the earth is thought to be about 4 billion years old, if I live to 70 I will have existed less than one ten millionth of the time the earth has been around, much less the universe (my math could be wrong, I am so rusty, but suffice it to say, an almost infinitesimal tick of the BIG clock so to speak.
  
  In 30, 40, at absolute most 50 years I am going to die, and that is going to be it, every experience I ever had, every thought, every memory, gone, forever. I will cease to exist and my body will either be cremated or left to decompose in the ground. And in another 50 or 60 years after that (maybe a tad longer if I have grandchildren), everyone that ever knew me will be gone. Oh, some might say, but your memory will live on with your family, big freaking deal, I’ll be dead, unaware of it, so I don’t find that all that comforting.
  
  You can call me selfish, call me ungrateful, whatever but this tick of the clock existence, this nano-second in the big picture time while it is nice doesn’t seem like very much. I would like very much that there be something more, but have been pretty much convinced that there isn’t and you know, that doesn’t fill me up with wonder, or make my heart sing, or fill me with really any positive feelings to be quite honest. Oh, it doesn’t nullify the life I have, so far its been good and hopefully I have some good years left, but the idea that once it is over, its over, well that just bums me out actually, I’m not overwhelmed with the fact that, oh my, my ancestors crawled from the slime and I lift my apeman head up for this tiny fraction of time before becoming nothing again.
  
  Do any of you other atheists feel this way? Do any of you feel saddened at all by the fact that we have so little time and that when its over, its over?
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  23

  News about my new Mini Cooper :D

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know... some of you must be getting tired of my talking about my new car... but this is my first *new* car and i'm all excited about it.

  today i looked at the owners lounge website that lets me see the progress of my car and the status has changed from on order to scheduled for production!

  this means that the car should start being assembled around oct. 31.. the car sould be delivered in december... it'll be my personal christmas present to myself..

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  Big Dog

  Else,

  I love Coopers, I took a long hard look at one when I was buying but I ended up going with a Subaru STi. I am an unabashed motorhead and just can't get enough speed. Enjoy your Mini, they are seriously cool.
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  8

  Wild Gorrillas Using Tools

  by bavman in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

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  http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/09/0930_050930_gorilla_tool.html

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  Big Dog

  I heard Charleton Heston was going to be paying this particular gorilla a visit, and that the gorilla wasn't going to be enjoying the visit much.
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  23

  News about my new Mini Cooper :D

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know... some of you must be getting tired of my talking about my new car... but this is my first *new* car and i'm all excited about it.

  today i looked at the owners lounge website that lets me see the progress of my car and the status has changed from on order to scheduled for production!

  this means that the car should start being assembled around oct. 31.. the car sould be delivered in december... it'll be my personal christmas present to myself..

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  Big Dog

  Else, did you get the S or non blown version?
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  60

  1st post from a former S.O!

  by onesong in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm 36 yrs.

  old and was a jw for 35.i did everything from pioneer to bethel to ms to elder, school overseer ect.

  , ect.

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  Big Dog

  Onesong, let me be the first to welcome you to the forum. Look forward to hearing more of your story.
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  12

  Catholic church says the bible is wrong

  by Satanus in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,13509-1811332,00.html

  here are some excerpts:.

  the hierarchy of the roman catholic church has published a teaching document instructing the faithful that some parts of the bible are not actually true.

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  Big Dog

  You know, that's what I sort of find cool about the Catholic church, that they can have elements like this that challenge the establishment and things just sort of roll along and it gets dealt with eventually. Can you imagine a group of CO's, DO's, or elders trying something like this?
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  25

  Why are there so many "Should Gay's Marry" ads?

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  recently i've noticed that about 90% of the large ads are asking the question: "should gays marry?".

  any particular reason?

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  Big Dog

  Steve2,

  All kidding aside, I am sorry to hear that you had a bad experience in a long term relationship, gay, straight, it doesn't matter, that just plain hurts.

  I am all for equal protection under the law, so many laws we have are archaic and phobic in their origins and I think its high time to take them off the books. There has been a long trend of enlightenment but it would seem the pendulum has swung and now its headed back to a more conservative bent, at least here in the states. This too shall pass, I really don't think we are headed for another darkages.

  Edited to add:

  You make a good point when you say lawyers end up the winners! Ain't that almost always the case?!

  Why do you think I went to law school?
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  25

  Why are there so many "Should Gay's Marry" ads?

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  recently i've noticed that about 90% of the large ads are asking the question: "should gays marry?".

  any particular reason?

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  Big Dog

  Steve2, a bumpy ride? Heh, vicious custody battles are a little more than a bumpy ride my friend. I have seen shit fly out windows and former lovers be separated by baliffs and deputies during those badboys.

  Oh, and then there is alimony, that should be interesting. In the US in some states once you say I do everything becomes community property, so if you have a net worth of 1 million before marriage and your partner 10 bucks, after you say I do, his net worth just increased substantially.

  Division of property, let me tell you, it can be far from orderly for heteros, I have seen some truly epic battles over who owns what.

  But as I said, I'm all for it, why should us heteros have all the fun. Yes, there are some benefits to being married in terms of health and possible pension benefits, but here in the US most of it can be gotten around in other ways, probably health benefits being the most difficult, but all in all, big picture, hmm, I don't really know that gays stand to gain more by being allowed to marry, but I know that lawyers sure do.